Monkeyhouse goes to Zoo'Opolis

 Anyone who has known me for more than a year quickly realizes that I like to be the center of attention on my birthday and have historically tried to spread out the celebration for at least a week with lunches/dinners with friends and family and at least one cake with a candle and a wish.  Damon considers it an accomplishment to have whittled my celebration down, in most years, to a single day or in rare instances, maybe a weekend (for god sake woman, you are 53, not 9).  As a compromise, we have often tried to take a vacation on/around my birthday to make it extra special.  Over the past 10 years, we have spent my birthday in Iceland, Hawaii, Dubai, & Napa (to name a few) and we should have been on our rescheduled trip to Galapagos this week, but alas, it was pushed again to 2021.  All that being said, Damon had to get creative for my Covid birthday.  Enter Zoo’Opolis. 

 The idea was pitched to me as “how would you like to go to an exotic animal park in Indiana where you can pet, feed and cuddle with all sorts of exotic animals?”  Having watched Tiger King in early pandemic days, I was a bit skeptical.  But since it was that or Netflix and Chill, I said, what the heck – let’s do it.  I checked out their website and some of the animals on their list included such rare and exotic animals like chickens, geese, guinea pigs and my favorite, the Doberman.  There were a few others that sparked my interest including Bengal cats, a zebra, chinchillas and a Timber Wolf, and more.  I was most definitely looking forward to the exotic and rare Doberman.  Yes, we are talking about the dog.  And yes, I am being sarcastic.

The plan was to drive the 4 hours to Nashville, IN, spend a few hours at the “Zoo” and then drive 4 hours home.  For anyone who thinks – why would you spend 8 hours in the car for 2 hours at the zoo – again, I remind you that this is Covid time and any excuse to get out of the house is a good one.  We had no idea what to expect and I was fully convinced we were headed to someone’s creepy backyard in rural Indiana where they would hand us a hamster or something and then send us on our way.  

We pulled into what appeared to be a decent acreage farm, with actual signage and a parking lot!  

Looks good so far.  We get out of the car and to my shock and delight, we are greeted by not one, but TWO exotic Dobermans running in our direction for some love.  Things are looking up.  

We go to “check in” at the outdoor card table and this is where the fun begins.  There are a few small groups of people (they only accept by appointment) and you can get one of three packages – beginner, advanced, or ambassador – they determine which animals you get to see.  Of course, it is my birthday, so we are ambassadors.  The beginners and advanced are sent on their way while the rest of us get “the talk” and fill out the liability paperwork.  Like any “dangerous” activity, you don’t get to do it unless you sign your life away, so of course we just sign it all.

Because the Ambassadors get to see the really cool exotic animals, and the State of Indiana believes that people should not be allowed to pet, feed or snuggle with some exotic animals, what we were doing was essentially illegal.  However, have no fear, there is a loophole.  As explained to us (or how I understood it), for $10 each, we contractually purchased (10) exotic animals for $1 each.  Therefore, we were owners of the animals and thus allowed to pet, feed or snuggle with them legally.  We will be sent a bill for $100 in one week.  If we choose not to pay that bill, we forfeit the right to continue animal ownership and thus the ownership rights revert back to Zoo’Opolis.  Seems legit.

As newly minted exotic animal owners, we began the circuit.  With any fun activity, you start with the boring stuff and work your way up to the cool stuff.  Our first round of animals included yard fowl.  Chickens, ducks, geese and the biggest turkey I’ve ever seen.  Okay, I haven’t seen that many live turkeys up close, but really?  This close to Thanksgiving?  I’m thinking dude, you should drop a few pounds if you don’t want to be dinner in two weeks. 

The place gave us tons of food so we could hand feed the animals.  Second pen was goats and sheep. 

And yes, I have seen goats and sheep before, but it is still fun to feed them out of your hand.  

I don’t know if it is normal, but one of the sheep had four horns coming out of its head; they said this type of sheep could have up to six.  I’m guessing it was a Chernobyl sheep, maybe. 

From the goats and sheep, we moved to the deer and the baby cow.  Things are starting to get interesting.  The deer was a bit skittish, but the baby cow was cool.  They let us bottle feed it and it was a little piggy.  Once the bottle was finished, it just kept pushing up on us to get more.  Not that cows are all that exotic, but I’ve never been able to full on pet a little calf before.  They are cute.  

 

From deer and cows, we moved on to miniature donkeys.  There were a bunch of other random critters around – including some peacocks and other birds. 

In the next pen we got to feed two Alpacas.  Things are starting to heat up as the warnings include – don’t stand next to them, don’t touch them on their backs or they will kick you sideways.  They did have this random 15-year old tortoise roaming the grounds.  We caught up with him just so we could pretend we are in the Galapagos.  For a second I forgot we were on a random farm in Nashville, Indiana. 

I’m not sure what the next animal was, but it was some relation to an ostrich, and there was a reason it was behind a fence with a hand-sized hole we could use to feed them.  It was a bitey little critter and grabbed a chunk of hand flesh with each grab at food.  This one needed a video for full effect of how much they bite.  

Next pen was the baby porcupine, which was totally cute and gentle.  We learned that porcupines do NOT shoot their quills, but rather back into you in an attack.  We did get to pet it and at one point as it was eating, it seemed to take a little bite at Damon’s finger.  The conversation that followed: (Lady who works there):  “So, did he just bite you?”  (Damon): “No, not really.  He grabbed my finger as if it was food, realized it wasn’t, and just sort of lightly skimmed my finger with his teeth, like a dog.”  (Lady):  “Oh, good, because he is young and we don’t really know if he is going to bite.  I’ve been asked to determine what might get him to bite and what it would feel like so we can warn our guests.  Thanks for doing the research for me.”  I’m so glad we were able to help them determine how bad a porcupine bite could be.  

Next up, the tiny little Muntjac Deer.  This guy was so lovey – I just kept scratching its neck and it was licking my face (mask) and just melted into my hands as I scratched its neck.  Didn’t know deer could be that open to humans!  That ended our outdoor animal experience. 

 

On to the indoor animals where we were placed at a picnic table as the workers brought us animals one at a time.  Given the number of animals, I’ll just list them all off – guinea pigs (very exotic), Bengal cats (these guys were kittens up to full grown, they are normal looking and acting cats, but apparently have 1/6 leopard in them.  They LOVED Damon and just kept climbing up him and on him.  As a general rule, Damon does not like cats, but he was loving this),

a Chinchilla (or as Damon called it, a cloud with legs.  Eventually we got to hold the newborn baby chinchillas, which were adorbs.  Chinchilla warnings included:  these guys have a floating rib cage, do not squeeze them or you risk cracking all of their ribs.  And don’t let them jump off the table.  NOTE:  Chinchillas like to run to the edge of tables.)

Ferrets (they are just all over the place and hard to hold onto.  Oh, and they don’t like cats, which were free roaming everywhere…)

hedgehog & hedgehog baby (the baby was curled into a little ball the whole time resembling a little cactus nub), 

a bunny (not much to say.  It was a bunny)

a leopard gecko (basically just laid there.  I was sure the kittens were going to eat it).  

A rat (they are much cuter when they are in a zoo than when they are roaming the city alleys).  

And lastly, a snake (Damon said it was a Boa – I’m not sure.  He is not a fan of snakes but handled it like a champ).  As elite ambassadors, our next and final stop was the barn, to visit the super exotic animals that we now owned for a dollar each.

  

We were the first to leave the indoor area and thus got to spend some time alone with the super exotic animals.  The first animal you see upon walking in was a zebra.  Now I am a huge fan of zebras after our trip to Africa and was super excited to get up close and personal.  Sadly, this zebra was a total a-hole.  I was given food in the palm of my hand to feed it and if I had no food, it basically just bit my hand.  I wanted to pet it, but any hand coming in its general direction was food.  They had to put a fence up so the jerk didn’t bite you if you got too close.  At one point, I was a little too close and it just bit my arm.  But, we signed a waiver and it didn’t break skin, so we were good. I guess.  Besides – who am I going to sue?  I now own the damn zebra. 

Since no one else was in the barn yet, we got some alone time with the lemurs, by far, my favorite animals of the day.  They are hilarious and you can just be standing on one spot and they will use your head as a launch point to get from one side of the room to the other.  They will land on you, sit for a while, then torpedo off you.  You never know when a lemur projectile is headed your way.  But they are super cute and would lick your face or eye lids.  The picture of Damon is actually both lemurs – the tail is for the second one you can’t see.

 

Next up was the Timber Wolf – 97% wolf, 3% dog.  It was very cute and very gentle.  We didn’t get a lot of time with him, but we did get to pet a wolf, so that was cool.  

Then we visited the wallabies – one regular and one albino.  They were very docile.  

On to the racoon pen where they had 2 racoons (one was normal looking and the other was a light brown) plus they had a coatimundi, which is a South American racoon.  We were warned to zip all pockets as these animals are very curious and will steal anything and everything they can get their hands on.  The coatimundi immediately jumped on me and shoved its long snout into my pockets – rather forcefully.  I was a little worried that it might get to the zipper pocket on my electric vest, unzip it, and get to the battery.  Nothing says happy birthday like death by electrocution when a coatimundi chews the wires on your battery-operated vest.  I handed him off to ensure zippers were protected.  He immediately dives into Damon’s jacket to start an exploratory adventure in Damon’s pockets.  Now raccoons may be gross little scavengers, but these two were super cute and I think they were too obese to move very far from their respective perches. 

 

Our final exotic animal visit was back outside to a fenced in pen with the fox.  Again, we were the first to go out there with the guide lady.  Another interesting conversation that we overheard on our way out.  (Owner to guide lady):  “You can take these two out to see the fox.”  (Guide lady): “Are you sure?  After what happened last time?” (Owner): “Yeah, its fine” (Guide lady): “um, okay”.  And off we went, waivers be damned.  As we are walking out, guide lady tells us that recently she had an incident with the fox where it bit her and she isn’t experienced enough with the fox to recognize when it looks pissed off.  So maybe we should keep our hands in our pockets and not touch it just to be sure.  In you go!  As she puts us in the pen with the fox and closes the gate behind us.  Undeterred, I walk slowly to the fox with my digits protected in my pockets and lean in slowly.  The fox looks bored and walks over to me to check me out.  It sniffs me and I resist the urge to grab its super fluffy tail and let it just sniff.  Then it walks over to Damon to sniff and as the guide lady is telling us that its bite is like 75x greater than a dog, it is dangerously close to Damon’s man parts.  We decide that we’ve tempted fate enough and leave the pen.  No one else opts to go in.

 

And that was our experience at Zoo’Opolis.  Overall impressions?  It was totally worth the day trip.  It was fun to get up close and personal with the animals.  The animals seemed to be well taken care of and while there may have been some level of risk and some amount of loophole management, I never felt like I was in any danger.  Except for that damn Zebra. 

My birthday evening was complete with a slice of deep dish spinach mushroom pizza from our favorite Art of Pizza, a slice of Sweet Mandy B’s birthday cake, and an hour of the Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (1980’s Japanese game show precursor to  WipeOut) on Netflix. 

Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday via phone, text and Facebook!  While it was not Galapagos, it certainly was a day to remember 😊